Member Roster

"Buys a new driver every month. Still finds the water. The clubs are not the problem, Mike."

"Looks like Abe Lincoln. Fishes more than he golfs. Reads every putt like the Gettysburg Address, then three-putts."

"Hits it so hard his last ball is still in the air. From 50 yards in, it's anyone's guess."

"Playing his fifth round of golf ever. Somehow already has opinions about course management."

"Used to work on a golf course. Getting back in the game. The course remembers him. He's still figuring it out."

"Once chipped in from 70 yards for birdie. Scores +110 consistently. Nobody understands it. Not even him."

"His left-to-right fade is so massive he aims at the next fairway over. Somehow ends up in the right one."

"Getting back into golf and fully convinced he can beat the low handicappers. We respect the confidence."

"Buys 14 clubs a month, plays none of them. Then steps up and smacks it 260 with a club he's never practiced with."

"Survives every bad lie, every bunker, every water hazard — and still makes triple. Indestructible. Unstoppable. Unscoreable."

"Putts with a broomstick like he's mopping the green. Somehow it works. Facilities management has never looked so smooth."

"We think he's taking private lessons but won't admit it. Can go dead OB or stripe a 300-yard bomb. No in between."

"Hits it long. Scores +3 on most holes. The distance is real. The short game is a work in progress."

"Just started playing and already has a sim at home. Has more data on his swing than actual rounds played."

"Doesn't talk about his lessons often. We think he's sandbagging. We've all beaten him in stroke play. Jury's still out."

"A total wildcard. We've only seen his swing at TopGolf. Could be a hidden gem. Could be a disaster. Stay tuned."